By Dr. Onomuakpokpo

Despite the varied perfidy that sullied the recent elections, they are not irredeemably impaired after all. They have provided us with some vital lessons to navigate our labyrinthine political space. Clearly, they have once again jarred us into the consciousness of our seemingly indissoluble deficit in political enlightenment.

It is such a societal malaise that propels the citizens to cast their votes without knowing the explicit reason they are doing this. In their minds, these remain unresolved posers: Is it really for the vote-buying lucre that is transacted far from the prying eyes of other citizens? Is it on account of the candidate’s past performance either in private or public offices that redounded to the well-being of the citizens?

The above may be clear to all keen observers of the recent political developments. But for this column, there is a more important lesson. It is the fact that the elections have unveiled the two easiest but very lucrative jobs in the country. Yes, political thuggery could turn you into a billionaire. It could launch you into the inner sanctum of the political class where you would no longer feed off the crumbs from the table of the power hegemons in our nation.

Or have we not been seeing how politicians cosy up to political thugs during elections? But we are not interested in political thuggery here. After all, the job of a political thug requires a dose of imagination and risks. Nor are these two jobs on the familiar list of plenitude-siring employments such as those in an oil company.

For you to get either of these jobs we are interested in here, you may not necessarily need a long curriculum vitae. You may not need to be a rare-bred product of the IVY League. But even if you secure these jobs because of your long CV, you don’t need it to work. Consider this: Those who are hired as our national electoral umpires usually come with long CVs. For this job, you may be required to possess a long CV to get it.

You may require a public perception as a person of integrity. But once you get it, these are not necessary. The operations in this job are so auto-piloted that you would realise that even a barely literate school dropout could do your job. The overarching demand of your job is to conduct transparent elections. But you just stay in your office. You have no stake. It is circumstances that would determine the outcome of the elections. You do not need to be bothered about how the results of an election get to you. All you need do once you get the results is to append your signature.