My teachers and classmates often struggled to pronounce my surname. They either omitted the ‘b’ between the ‘g’ and ‘u’ or left out the ‘n’. Usually, my surname was called first. One time, I saw a new teacher reading out the names from the attendance sheet, and when she paused for a few seconds and stared at one name, I raised my hand and shouted, “Present.” I was right.

Growing up in the North did not help either because most people mispronounced my name as Ungulu, the Hausa word for vulture, despite the different spellings.

For those who cared to ask, I gladly taught them how to spell and pronounce it correctly. I explained its meaning and origin and why it differed from the other variations they had heard. Thanks to my dad, I knew my surname enough to teach a masterclass.

But I wished it ended with casual mix-ups.

I have had to request new certificates thrice because my surname was misspelled. This included a certificate of exemplary performance from the Gombe State Government after my youth service year.

I’m not alone on this journey though.

The President’s spokesperson, Mr Ajuri Ngelale, and ministers of power, Mr Adebayo Adelabu, and petroleum resources (oil), Heineken Lokpobiri, tasted a pinch of this ordeal when they joined President Bola Tinubu at the Nigeria-Netherlands Business and Investment Forum in The Hague last Thursday.

It seemed the President cherry-picked hard-to-pronounce names for the trip. He must have told his protocol chief, “This is perfect! Oh, and add any name that sounds Dutch too.”